Positive Thinking – Getting the YOU Back into Your Life

Positive Thinking: Getting the YOU Back into Your Life

by Karen Hope Ferris

The items on your To Do list are endless for any given day or week.  How do YOU rate? Is time for yourself at the top of the list, somewhere in the middle, or are you not on the list at all?

With modern technology, many of us are tied to our work 24 hours a day. Along with that, we have family, community and a multitude of other obligations all clamoring to be done.  As children, most of us were taught that work comes before play. With continual obligations and a workload that never ceases, we can lose ourselves. This can lead to burnout and over time disease, or a loss of meaning in our lives.

Some believe that if they put themselves before other obligations, it makes them selfish.  The dictionary defines selfish as caring for only oneself, regardless of others. What we all need has nothing to do with selfishness, and has everything to do with self-care.

Those who practice self-care are better able to cope with the stresses of life, are more productive, are better able to be present with family members, and are better able to stay well. The good news is that you can begin to create balance in your life right now, no matter where you are at.

Realize You Have Choice

Is your life governed by the word “should”? According to Bronnie Ware, author of, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing, the number one regret of the dying is wishing they’d had the courage to live a life true to themselves, not the life others expected of them. Decide what has meaning and value for you, set your priorities and then choose what you want to do and when.

Turn Up the Positive!

Is your self-talk defeating? The first step is becoming aware.  When you are aware of negative thinking, imagine changing the radio station playing in your head to a positive one.  Reframe thoughts about what you don’t want into conscious choices that you do want.  When I catch myself in a negative thought, I will say to say to myself or aloud if I am speaking, “Cancel that!”  Then I’ll turn it into a positive.

It turns out that positive thinking is worthwhile for more than your state of mind. A ten year long research study done by the Canadian Nova Scotia Health Survey showed that people with a positive outlook are 22 percent less likely to develop coronary artery disease.  They also have lower blood pressure, a lower risk of developing diabetes, and an improved immune system.

A 30 year research study at the Mayo clinic found that optimists had about a 50 percent lower risk of early death than pessimists.  This is another example of the mind and body connection and the impact of attitude.

Listen to Your Body

What does your body have to say? Does it really want more coffee all day long or another glass of wine in the evening?  Maybe, what it really needs is more sleep, movement, higher quality foods, or more water. Many of us have lived so long on overdrive that we don’t take the time to tune into the vessel that is carrying us through life. Tuning in to and answering your body’s needs can improve your overall health and sense of wellbeing.

Get in Touch with Your Breath

Checking in with your breath will help you know what your stress level is. When we are stressed, we tend to hold our breath. Practicing square breathing can help you to shift to a calmer, more balanced place. Simply breathe in deeply to a count of four. Then hold to a count of four. Breathe out to a count of four, and then hold to a count of four. Continue until you feel a shift and then connect with the change. The more you practice this exercise, the more automatic it will become in your life.

This simple technique can have an impact on blood pressure. A study involving 20,000 Japanese adults with normal and high blood pressure showed that sitting alone quietly and taking six deep breaths over the course of 30 seconds had a dramatic impact.  The participants practicing the deep breathing showed a dramatic drop in systolic blood pressure compared with those who just sat quietly.

Practice Gratitude

When we are thankful, grateful and focus on the positives in our lives, we are more accepting. When we concentrate on the negative, we are really focusing on what we don’t want, which creates resistance.

When my mother told me to count my blessings, she was right. A ten week research study by Emmons and McCullough showed that those with an attitude of gratitude were 25 percent happier than those who concentrated on the negative in their lives.  In another 21 day study by Emmons and McCullough, participants with chronic health problems that practiced gratitude were more satisfied with their lives.

A way to start is each morning or evening, think of five things that you are grateful for.  Do this for one month and discover more happiness.

Make a Date with Yourself

If you aren’t taking any time at all for yourself now, start with fifteen minutes a day.  Use this time to do something that you really enjoy – read a book, journal, go for a walk, call a friend, listen to some music – whatever counts for pure YOU time.  Is there something in your past that you really enjoyed doing like playing the guitar, painting, or something else that you talked yourself out of because of a lack of time? Maybe, it’s time to bring it back into your life. When you’ve mastered the fifteen minutes, make it longer until it becomes a balanced priority in your life.

Expect the Best!

Expecting positive outcomes in life is a choice. A study by Rosenthal and Jacobson showed that students were higher achievers if their teachers expect superior performance from them. These positive expectations can become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Becoming your own best encourager can help you to create the positive outcomes you desire.

Take a Positive Thinking Timeout

Take a minute or two to positively answer the following questions, and see what happens:

• What is the nicest thing anyone has ever said to you?
• What do you most like about yourself?
• What is the best meal you’ve ever enjoyed?
• What is the best vacation you’ve ever been on?
• What is the funniest movie you’ve ever seen?
• What five things do you most appreciate right now?
• What makes you really smile?

After answering these questions, take a moment to check in with how you feel.  Do you notice that you have changed your feeling space without anything changing in your external circumstances?  This occurred because you actively chose where to focus your energy. That’s how much power you have when you use positive thinking.

Each day is an opportunity to feel more alive – to experience a new, positive YOU. Starting with one small thing is the beginning. What do you choose?

Karen Hope Ferris is the owner of Positive Strategies, a company providing long distance and in-person life coaching, hypnotherapy, wellness products, and business development services. She is active in the Native American and minority small business community, where she provides specialized marketing and business development consulting.

Visit Karen’s website: http://www.posistrategies.com

Tags: Karen Ferris, karen hope ferris, stress, stress management, stress reduction, stress reduction tools