Why Your Resolutions Fail, Resulting in Increased Stress
Welcome to this week’s edition of CardioLogix Magazine! Did you know that making new year’s resolutions increases the stress level of those who make them?
In this week’s edition Expert Panelist Carol-Ann Hamilton will solve the age-old mystery of why most people fail at achieving even their most passionately conceived new year’s resolutions and how you can succeed while reducing “resolution-stress.”
The tips in this article are priceless!
Why Your Resolutions Fail
By Carol-Ann Hamilton
(See Carol-Ann’s expert profile here)
You Know the Drill…
Eat, drink and be merry. Lulled into a holiday haze, you awake groggy. Dragging your sorry body to the bathroom, one eye gingerly peeks in the mirror. Shock! Who is this person??
Something must be done about the tired hair, dull skin and shapeless figure. Once and for all, this year will be different. So, January 1st, you hit the gym – hard. You’re eating three nourishing squares a day. You plan a sizzling make-over.
Going Off the Rails
By January 31st – or sooner – whose gym attendance is zilch? Junk foods crowd the cupboards. You throw in the towel. Disgusted, you resign to being an undisciplined “loser” for another year.
You’re not alone!
- Four of five people will break their resolutions
- 90% of folks will have given up by March 1st
- Nearly 40% attribute breaking their self-declared promises to having too much else on their plates
- And 33% report they weren’t committed to their resolutions after all.
Why does this happen?
The Top 10 Resolutions That Fail
Let’s look at how many of your past New Year’s declarations are on this list.
- Lose weight and get in better physical shape.
- Stick to a budget.
- Reduce debt.
- Enjoy more quality time with family and friends.
- Find a soul mate.
- Quit smoking.
- Get a better job.
- Learn something new.
- Volunteer and help others.
- Get organized.
I can say I’ve been “guilty” of all except number six. More than once!
Intentions Trump Resolutions!
The Number One Reason resolutions fail is making them a “should” rather than a “want”.
Think about it. Resolutions are typically phrased: “I should eat better and exercise more.” “I should spend wisely.” “I should stay in touch with friends and family.” Do you feel motivated by such an endless laundry list of commands? Not!
Worse, resolutions are often about what we don’t want (being “fat”). Did you know if you focus on not wanting to be “fat”, you create the very conditions to stay “fat”?
Can we escape these traps? Yes! Set intentions geared toward what you do seek.
Intentions are the positive motives beneath an action. Concerning getting in shape, these could include improved health, increased energy, higher self-esteem – or any other results you want (as in, willingly choose or decide) to achieve.
Commitment… Really?
Want to know how you can definitively tell if an intention was a true commitment?
If your stated outcomes occurred, you meant it. If you didn’t fulfill your desires, on some level you weren’t sold. Simple as that!
No one questions your sincerity at the time. Yet, it’s quite possible to imagine you “intend” one thing and actually have in mind something else.
For instance, I could attempt to persuade you 2012 will be the year I finally obtain my driver’s license (at age 53). Don’t believe me! I have no intention – not even a “resolution” – to accomplish this for now. The evidence I have no plans to complete this designation will be my sitting in the passenger’s seat on December 31st.
Your Step-By-Step Guide to Setting Powerful Intentions
See why I call myself an Intentions Expert?
Until I discovered the proven strategies and tools I’m sharing with you to reach success sooner – and maintain a lasting high quality of life – I made every mistake in the book!
Since 2000, I’ve diligently followed this formula to “put to bed” the old year and intentionally ring in the new:
1) List all your successes and wins of the past 12 months.
2) List all your disappointments and breakdowns over that same period.
3) Name the year’s top ten accomplishments.
4) Write a paragraph (or more) that allows you to feel at peace with the calendar year.
5) Capture five to seven key lessons (or insights) you learned between January and December.
6) List five BEING qualities (character traits, attitudes, values) you choose to embody in the new year (mine have included patience, compassion and courage).
7) Itemize five DOING actions (what you want to accomplish and/or how you intend to grow) in the next 12 months.
Enumerate five things you will HAVE in your life as a result of your doing. Note the sequence of items 6 to 8. While North Americans are prone to assume, what do I need to do in order to have certain things (skipping the “be” altogether), manifestation actually starts with being…as in, who you need to be in order to complete the doing that will result in having.
9) Identify what actions and beliefs you plan to Keep, Stop and Start doing, based on your intentions.
10) Develop a “mantra” for the next year. Mine is: “In 2012, all blockages I shelve”. I shall define precisely what I mean by blockages and shelve.
Guess how long my document was spelling out the above for 2011? It stands at 24 pages!
Absolutely, you needn’t go to my extreme lengths.
I merely wish to demonstrate my dedication to continuous learning. This system works!
“Slow” Start Techniques to Reduce Resolution Stress
Another reason resolutions don’t stick is the myth that you must itemize them by midnight New Year’s Eve. Talk about an artificial deadline! Who says?
Ancient cultures considered February 1st our fresh start. Babylonians 4,000 years ago used March 1st. The zodiac begins with Aries on March 21st – the first day of spring in the Northern Hemisphere.
Either way, what a relief that your “act” needn’t be together by January 1st.
I’m no procrastinator when it comes to personal growth. However, I urge you to give yourself the gifts of reflection and concentration to create your best year ever.
Avoid the usual “rabbit holes” with this advice:
- Don’t even think of completing the above process in one sitting. Do it in chunks. Take breaks.
- Go for a walk to literally breathe out the old year before you design (and inhale) the new.
- Don’t buy the idea you can accomplish “anything” with enough “willpower”. This common myth opposes everything we’ve been saying. Yes to stretch targets! No to pipe dreams!
- Don’t generate too many intentions at once. I distill mine into three “being” and three “doing” topics to start. At my July birthday, I assess and make adjustments.
- Celebrate your successes along the way. Like a long grocery store line-up, you can either notice the many people ahead of you or turn around and take hope from the building queue behind you. Progress!
The Proof is in the Pudding
When I reviewed my reflections across this millennium’s first decade, I found it nothing short of miraculous to observe how many (real) intentions came to pass.
A huge victory has been healing a painful stomach knot which emerged in 2010. Doctors diagnosed my condition would inevitably lead to surgery.
I determined right then and there – not for me! Friends called me naïve. Who cares? I diligently worked through the knot’s causal factors.
Hello! Gall bladder…bile…stored anger… By addressing my emotional issues, I’ve come to understand and tame its triggers. Cautiously optimistic, I dramatically reduced my episodes to almost zero.
We have 45,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. What we concentrate on expands. Picture the potency of channeling our vast untapped potential toward health rather than illness.
My “cured” state is living proof!
Your Call to Action…
My parting encouragement is that you will feel inspired by these practical tips to no longer set “resolutions”. Instead, cast forth intentions that fire you up!
Though we’re already being bombarded by Mayan “End of Days” doomsday prophesies on December 21, 2012, I choose to remain undaunted.
For, I intend to live until 112 – at least 59 more years! I guess only younger readers who plan to be around in 2070 will be able to attest the truth of my solid conviction.
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Tags: new year's resolution, resolutions, stress, stress management
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